Placement of modifiers (26)

Hubble Space Telescope

Careless placement of a modifier can make a sentence unclear.

Example

“Don’t buy anything new until you’ve considered whether or not you need it for 48 hours.” (Source)

The reader may, at first glance, think the phrase “for 48 hours” modifies the nearest verb, “need.” But then the reader recognizes that that meaning is unlikely, looks farther back in the sentence, and sees that “for 48 hours” more likely modifies the next-nearest verb, “considered.”

A clearer placement would be:

“Don’t buy anything new until you’ve considered for 48 hours whether or not you need it.” 

Example

“Astronomers from the University of Chicago have used the Hubble Space Telescope to observe the weather on a ‘super-Earth’ planet orbiting a distant star for the first time.” (Source) (A link in the original is omitted here.)

The reader may, at first glance, think the phrase “for the first time” modifies “orbiting.” But then the reader recognizes that that meaning is absurd, looks farther back in the sentence, and sees that “for the first time” more likely modifies “observe.”

A clearer placement would be:

“Astronomers from the University of Chicago have used the Hubble Space Telescope to observe, for the first time, the weather on a ‘super-Earth’ planet orbiting a distant star.”

Example

“President Barack Obama recently wrote an executive order that established a White House initiative on educational excellence for black Americans that will be housed in the Department of Education.” (Source)

The reader may, at first glance, think the phrase “that will be housed in the Department of Education” modifies “black Americans.” But then the reader recognizes that that meaning is absurd, looks farther back in the sentence, and sees that “that will be housed in the Department of Education” more likely modifies “initiative.”

A clearer placement would be:

“President Barack Obama recently wrote an executive order that established a White House initiative on educational excellence for black Americans. The initiative will be housed in the Department of Education.”

The Takeaway: Place every modifier as close as possible to what it modifies. Sloppy placement of modifiers forces your readers to guess what you mean. Yes, it’s true that the guessing usually takes only a second or two and usually is successful. However, you should not be forcing your readers to guess at all. If you force them to guess more than a few times, they may become irritated. They may assume you are inconsiderate or stupid or both. They may even become less willing to read anything with your name on it.*

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*For example, when a writer keeps forcing me to guess, I never read him again unless he’s a paying client.

Thanks to Christa Sammons for spotting the second example.

See disclaimer.