Circumlocution (2)

A circumlocution is a roundabout expression. Circumlocution is the use of such expressions. Circumlocution confuses readers and listeners and wastes their time.

An egregious example of circumlocution

In the Washington Times, an article about combat training quotes Congresswoman Niki Tsongas:

“To put in place a training regimen that is ill-suited to maximizing the success of women is not really the outcome any of us want to see.”

This obese sentence is a circumlocution built up of several circumlocutions. We can replace this obese sentence with a trim, clear sentence by replacing the component circumlocutions with straightforward English. Here we go:

Let’s replace “to put in place” with nothing.

Let’s replace “a training regimen” with “training.”

Let’s replace “that is ill-suited to maximizing the success of women” with “that helps women excel.” This replacement also converts a negative to a positive.

Let’s replace “is not really the outcome any of us want to see” with “we want.” This replacement also converts a negative to a positive.

And we end up with this:

“We want training that helps women excel.”

Original: 27 words
My Rewrite: 7 words
Reduction: 74 percent

Making this kind of improvement takes little time; my rewrite took me only 40 seconds.

The Takeaway: The more you rely on circumlocution, the flabbier your brain gets. Use circumlocutions sparingly if at all.

See disclaimer.